Schadenfreude: Taking Pleasure in Another’s Misfortune

Did you know there’s a name for taking pleasure in another’s misfortune – Schadenfreude.

Wiki describes this German word as “Schadenfreude: ‘literally harm-joy’ is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another.

For someone with low self-esteem, someone who is more successful poses a threat to their sense of self, and seeing this 'mighty' person fall can be a source of comfort because they perceive a relative improvement in their internal or in-group standing.”

There are several types, aggression-based, rivalry-based and justice-based schadenfreude. In this blog we will touch on the first two and give real life examples that the writers have personally experienced on their spiritual journey at Kosmic Fusion.

 Background

There were a group of volunteers who were graciously invited to join the Facilitator in Training (FiT) Programme with Kosmic Fusion under the guidance of Sree Maa, our beloved Guru. Dallia/Malena was one such volunteer, however instead of coming with honest intentions, she masqueraded as a devotee of Sree Maa. It was only after Dallia/Malena was asked to leave, that the truth came out that she was a covert Narcissist, with malignant motives towards Kosmic Fusion and its volunteers.  

 

Renu’s experiences

Dallia/Malena and I were both based in NZ. Before I begin, I must be forthright in admitting although it was against the FiT Programme’s philosophy to form friendships with other volunteers, I actively pursued one with Dallia/Malena. I deeply regret this now.

Dallia/Malena’s modus operandi was imbibing schadenfreude. It was so ingrained in her, that she took any opportunity to act on it. Worse still, she also had the intention to actively bring about misfortune to her targeted victims.

One such example, was Dallia/Malena knew I was in recovery from alcoholism but deliberately tried to give me homemade kombucha, knowing it contained alcohol and may cause me to relapse after years of sobriety.

Now for an example which sounds too bad to be true. When I was sick and staying with Dallia/Malena because I couldn’t look after myself, I told her that I felt that I may be close to dying and that I was in immense pain. At this stage I was so weak that I could barely get out of bed to relieve myself. Despite all this, Dallia kept me in excruciating pain and did not ring for an ambulance. It turned out that I had meningitis – I had suffered with it in her care for 5 long days and nights. 

I confided a lot of my emotional pains in Dallia/Malena. At one point I called her for much needed support when I was feeling suicidal. She made an excuse to get off the phone and said she would call later but never did. Again, she took pleasure in my pain.

Dallia/Malena had plans to destroy Kosmic Fusion and was determined to take me out along the way. By taking me out, I mean remove me from my vital spiritual path. If I were gone it would make her feel powerful and dominant. She held no regard for my soul, instead enjoying each step of the way of her cunning plan. She later admitted to this.

“The emotion is more common in people who are high in psychopathy (callous and unempathetic), Machiavellian traits (scheming), narcissism (self-obsessed) and sadism.”

-          Livescience.com, Stephanie Pappas

 At the point when Dallia/Malena moved into the Ashram house (uninvited), where our beloved Guru resided along with several volunteers, whenever I came do a little service there, she froze me out completely. She barely acknowledged or talked to me, knowing full well it would really hurt me.

Simran’s experiences

Whilst on the 2017 Sacred India Pilgrimage, when I was visibly distressed and mortified over a terrible mistake I had made, Gillian (another FiT) made comments to deliberately upset me and put the knife in. This turned out to be Dallia/Malena’s doing, as she had used Gillian as a flying monkey to serve up a hefty dose of schadenfreude in front of the whole group on the bus.

On top of this, shortly afterwards Dallia/Malena told me herself that I could not be part of the FiT Programme as I had a family and husband, so I could not make the appropriate level of commitment needed. She deliberately set out to try to deter me from progressing on my spiritual path. Not only that but she was an energy vampire, feeding off my emotions and it was only later when reflecting on the situation that I realised that Dallia/Malena got a sense of pleasure from my unhappy state at the time. Dallia/Malena offered to offer me support but it seemed that after each time I spoke with her she reminded me of something that I had done wrong or a shortcoming, I often felt worse after speaking with her but could not put my finger on why.

 

Closing

When things were not going well for us it made Dallia/Malena feel good, which is the very definition of schadenfreude. If only Dallia/Malena had learnt to show empathy and kindness, rather than envy and maliciousness, her schadenfreude could eventually have been overcome, or at the very least lessened.

It’s a misconception to think that people in spiritual groups don’t have these malicious ways of operating and it is only because of the incredible Grace of Sree Maa that we now know about schadenfreude and how Dallia/Malena used our spiritual group to be her supply of enjoyment at the misfortune of others.