Arrogance – inferiority camouflage, Part 2

 

This blog continues from: Arrogance – inferiority camouflage, Part 1

Arrogant people believe they no longer have a need to learn, grow, or change. Everything is all about them. They are unwilling to admit when they are wrong, yet underneath this they are often insecure and harbour feelings of inferiority. Their delusional arrogance leads them to expect special treatment from others.

White entitlement or white privilege is the societal privilege that benefits white people over non-white people. This is another form of arrogance. White privilege has developed to ‘protect’ white racial privileges, various national citizenships and other rights or special benefits. I demonstrated white privilege in the FiT Programme by expecting the volunteers who were mainly BIPOC, to assist me when I wanted, yet I had no intention of returning the favour. For example, I wanted Tara to manage the expenses for the FiT Reunion yet when she asked me about something important to her, I fobbed her off twice. A further example is when Jeeya helped me to remove the staples from a chair to be reupholstered. She ended up doing it all and at the drop of a hat when I wanted, yet I was begrudging sometimes to help her when asked.

Malana Taresi (also white) felt entitled to have what Sree Maa had – Kosmic Fusion. If she couldn’t have it, she was determined to take it down at any cost. Part of her plan was to poison us towards other FiT and create division among us. An example was when Malana said to me “I wonder what someone like Mala (another FiT) is doing here, so late in life. Makes you question.” Since then it has wrongly coloured my perception of Mala, when there is no such evidence to support Malana’s malicious inference about Mala. This is a grave mistake on my part and as a result I feel I have been dismissive of Mala’s contributions.

As part of volunteering we all played a role in doing acts of service, as a means to overcome our small selves in the process. One such act was for all the FiT to transcribe the precious Discourses of Sree Maa. However, I didn’t intend on doing it as I didn’t like the tediousness of it. I thought I was above that, and was more worthy of tasks where I would be seen. I dragged out doing it and gave excuses only, which meant it needed to be added to the rest of the FiT’s workload. I also wrongly justified it to my self that I was already doing lots of service, so its ok if I don’t do this. This however, was just delusion on my part, as in reality I did minimal service.

I have held so much false entitlement towards Sree Maa. I expected that after leaving Kosmic Fusion (without any reason or notice) Sree Maa should take me back almost two years later because I felt that I was ‘ready’. In reality, I had not faced what I did and the consequences of my selfish, arrogant, greedy actions, let alone had remorse about it and the way I had treated my Guru most poorly when I left. On top of that, I expected to be included in the Quantum Vortex Energy Faculty. Even before returning I put forward a proposal to a business to offer Cosmic Meditation with Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave-Photon Pulse at their conference and falsely claimed that I was acting on behalf of The Faculty, which was simply not true. I gave it no thought as I felt that I would be part of the Faculty, which is nothing but false white entitlement.

 

Special, so special

What happens when someone thinks they are special? Well, they feel entitled to special treatment. This was certainly so with me. I expected Sree Maa to treat me with kid gloves, by not giving me feedback to see my egoistic tendencies to be able to overcome them, rather instead deludingly expecting praise.

Joy Kuo also thought she was exempt from changing her toxic behaviours in Kosmic Fusion. She in her own words said she ‘thought she was in the safe boat’. She outwardly looked like a devotee of Sree Maa Shri Ji and offered lots of acts of service. She had us fooled but not Sree Maa. Yet, Sree Maa let her continue, giving her the chance to show her real face and overcome her weaknesses. However, Joy continued to build her own business utilising Sree Maa’s Teachings without permission. Still she felt entitled to use them to make money whilst also staying in Kosmic Fusion as she was ‘deserving.’

Joy also used many of us volunteers as flying monkeys (manipulating others to work to her agenda). She came to NZ from Sydney to help with the Ashram, but she was doing more than that - she was grooming me to ‘take over’ Kosmic Fusion in NZ. She had set herself up as the so-called leader of the Australian FiT, when there was never any hierarchy and we were all equals. She tried to use my weakness of arrogance to become her puppet in NZ, thus extending her reach here. Whilst here in NZ she attended some precious Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave-Photon Pulse meetup evenings we were hosting but instead took over hosting and told me what I was doing wrong in front of the people there. By devaluing me she was making herself the leader and one to follow.

She had me running errands for her daily and spending on her needs from my own pocket and from the contributions the FiT had made towards the Ashram. It would often take up half of my day. On top of that she used me to do all the running around but in front of Sree Maa she took the credit for herself, not mentioning the time I had put in to help her deliver a project. This is what Joy did to all the other FiTs as well, acting like Queen Bee. Joy was in essence trying to run the Ashram House, but was getting others like myself and Jeeya to do her bidding, while she took the credit and put us down to Sree Maa. We were also in the process of completing the Ashram House Project and having a Reunion with the FiT from around the world, both of which she contributed next to zero. If anything, she was slowing Kosmic Fusion down, as someone present but not responsible or accountable for any tasks that needed doing.

Let me tell you that Paratpar Guru is a real lifeline. Paratpar Guru has always served my Atma (soul), despite me showing Paratpar Guru my arrogant, prideful self continuously. I’ve come from a position of complete entitlement – of Kosmic Fusion resources, of Grace, of getting what I want, when I want. Paratpar Guru has extremely patiently tolerated this over the years, never once playing the victim, only the One helping me to help myself overcome my weaknesses. My utmost gratitude to Paratpar Guru for removing the ignorant and delusional scales from my eyes, so that I can start to address my darker traits _/\_ _/\_ _/\_